New Beginning

Let us not confuse
the actors
in the play.....
He hurt me
She left you
and they both were rotten cheats.
But let us now
see only
each other.
So he left me long before
you came along
I bid him now adieu.
I know she left you broken-
I'll help you begin anew.
Tomorrow we can start again
A brand new now...with only me and you.

CHANCE

When I first met my husband, I was hesitant to date him. I had been hurt very badly and was not interested in a relationship. I tried to ignore my feelings for him but my heart won out in the end...I guess you just can't ignore the love of your life! Im so glad that I gave love a chance. Here's what I had to say to myself to convice me to do it!



Chance

Just Let go
Take a chance
For once give in
To romance

Lean in closer
Pull him near
Let him hold you
And erase your fears

Enjoy his touch
Forget the past
Kiss him softly
Make it last

Don't get scared
And run away
You'll never know
If you don't stay!

CONTROL

The simple truth about control is that we have very little of it. We cannot control the weather or the economy and we certainly cannot control what other people do or do not do. I think that if we all opened our minds to this concept, it would make our lives a whole lot easier.

Many of us create turmoil in our lives obsessing over the things that we have absolutely no control over. If we could only focus that energy on something that we can influence, it would make life so much more enjoyable. So what do we have control over, you ask? Unfortunately for those self proclaimed control freaks (yes, I belong to that group too), the answer is unbelievably simple....Ourselves.

You can control your behaviors and your reactions to other people's behavior and that is pretty much it. Short of blackmailing, we really cannot control what other adults say, do, or think. And honestly, blackmail isn't even a guarantee, but rather a situation where the blackmailer hopes and prays that the blackmailee does what they want so they don't have to follow through with whatever it is you said they would do.

In closing.....
You can't make someone love you. You can't make someone make good decisions. You can't make someone break up with someone else. You can't make your loved ones stop using drugs or alcohol and you cannot stop a cheater from sleeping with every girl in town. It took me a very long time to realize these things. I only wish it hadn't taken me so long, as I wasted a lot of precious time.

My new life

This was the very first sunrise of my married life and it was absolutely perfect! I cannot describe how overjoyed I am to be married to my husband. Every day is like a new adventure just waiting to be had. It is so fun to have all of our "firsts" to do over again.

Looking out at this sunrise in Lihue, HI, while holding hands with my new husband, it finally hit me. This is it. The end.

The end of lonliness. The end of doubt. I will never again have my heart broken and that is a truly amazing feeling. I have found my soulmate....my life partner. I am looking forward to waking up each and every morning with him by my side, for never again will I have to face the world alone.

Im in Washington aone

I awaken at night and reach out for him, as I have done for so very long, however, my arms remain empty and my heart fails to warm. I miss him more than I ever could have imagined. I took for granted all the simple things... saying good morning or looking in his eyes before I drift off to sleep. This man is my future husband and I cannot wait until I am back in his arms where I belong.

My Best Friend

It kills me to see her in so much pain. She is miserable and there is nothing I can do about it. I am in no position to offer her comfort, as it feels like the thousand miles between us is a million, if not more. So many times she was there to pick me up off the floor...to see me through my darkest moment and even when I went back for more, she supported me. She never said "I told you so", although she could have. I would give anything to be there for her the way she always was for me. The guilt I feel is indescribable. Here I am pursuing my dreams and it feels as though I am leaving her behind to deal with the cold, cruel world of small town quicksand alone. When I hear her crying on the other end of the line, even though it is ever so faint, it rips my heart in two. Not because she cries, but because I am not there to dry the tears and help her on her feet. She is stronger than I ever was. I could not have done it alone, and yet here she is moving forward...one foot in front of the other...never giving up...constantly fighting this battle with noone by her side. I cry for my best friend but in my heart I know she will prevail. She always does, and with such grace and beauty. Not only is she the strongest woman I know, she is the most beautiful. I bet she doesn't even realize just how much I admire her.